Getting Our Influence Into Perspective

Thanks for hanging in there with my series, 5 

Keys to getting Your Life in Perspective. 

We have 

covered a lot of ground!

Now for the final episode: Part 2 of Key#5: Getting Our Influences Into Perspective

Are you a FOUNTAIN or a DRAIN?

I love this message from my favorite book, Phil. 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

This looks like a PROMISE! Think about good stuff, put it into practice, and peace will come.

Sign me up!!!

Real quick, here are just a few things we can do to put it into practice, or be a positive INFLUENCE on society:

• Share your gifts and talents with others by volunteering, teaching, or coaching.
• Choose to share your mistakes and lessons learned. I heard a lot of this at AA meetings and it encouraged me tremendously!
• Vote and support your favorite political candidates.
• Conserve and recycle to protect/influence the environment.
• Here's one I say to my kids, "Stay out of trouble!" Like, don't get into it and don't go looking for it!

Just do 100% of your part, having the peace of mind knowing you did what you could!

That, too, is empowering opposed to, "What if?" Yes, sometimes, maybe often, things don't work out, but rest assured, you CAN exercise control of your part and that is really all any of us can or is expected to do.

I bet you can think of things to add to this list, I'd love to hear from you!

To get life in perspective, I can control my:

1. Time
2. Finances
3. Health
4. Myself
5. Input/influence

Is it possible I left something off my list of 5 Keys To Getting Your Life In Perspective?

Well keeping these 5 plates in the air has been quite enough to juggle! Maintaining their balance is a full time effort, yet the rewards are great. Really, if you have anything to add, I'd love to hear from you. If you missed any of these key messages they can be found on my blog http://edgeneurofitness.blogspot.com/ 

Geting Your Input Into Perspective

Recall that old adage, "Garbage in, garbage out" or "GIGO." Likewise, program good things, and good will come. Whatever goes IN to us, physically, mentally, and spiritually, has an EFFECT on us one way or another. For years, as The Organic Produce Gal I looked at food and asked folks, "Do you want to BLESS or STRESS your body?" It's not just food, but everything that goes in through the eyes (watching), ears (listening), mouth and even the nose has an influence on us. All of our senses take in and absorb. What we take in will either BLESS (fortify and strengthen)...or STRESS, forcing us to compensate for something negative. Very little input is neutral, especially if it involves time and energy, which are valuable resources!

So, do you want to be blessed or stressed?

What will you put in, take in, or allow yourself to absorb, albeit purposefully or even passively? What you put or allow in affects you! This is just a challenge to think about it.

I did...and it really helped me to get life into perspective! Oh there will still be tough days...but that is when we need to go back and look at what is pouring in to our lives...AND what is coming out! Input and influence, hmmm...

Whether we see it, or like it, or not, what we do and say has an influence on others (even though it may not seem like it when it comes to parenting!). It all comes back to the control thing...

We can control what comes in and we can control what we put out. We cannot control other people but we CAN do our own part to be a POSITIVE INFLUENCE! That is empowering;)

The late Jim Rohn said it so eloquently, "You can be a FOUNTAIN or a DRAIN"

Getting Ourselves In Perspective

Thanks again, for tuning in to my series, 5 Keys to getting Your Life in Perspective!  

 

Last week I shared how I took charge of my health. The next step was to get my emotions and feelings in check...because as we know,

 "attitude determines our altitude!" 

How did I get control over my emotions and feelings? 

It wasn't just one thing I had to learn...It's tough duty to get life in perspective! As I began to gain control over my time, finances, and health it became evident this would require a lot of self-control!

While on one hand we know what to do, on the other is the discipline to take action and establish new habits! Once again, we cannot or should not try to control other people, but we CAN become empowered by exercising control over our own selves, our feelings, and emotions.

  

Have you ever felt overwhelmed, hopeless, desperate, or frustrated?

That was me! Here's how I got it together and keep it together on a daily basis...

I got a grip on MYSELF!

After reading this quote in my favorite book: 

1 Thes. 5:16-18 Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances

During this troubling transitional time of life, I thought, "Where is the joy in this? No way am I feeling thankful!" Uh oh. Once again, let's reiterate, 'If attitude was to determine my altitude, I was going down!' The answer? Look up! Each morning I sat down with a blank journal and forced myself to write any and every little thing that was positive and to be thankful for. It could be any seemingly insignificant thing that brightened my day or brought a smile. I MADE IT SIGNIFICANT. Over time, my focus began to change from negative to positive as I searched for everything good in my life for which to be grateful. Filling my journal and heart with gratefulness began to crowd out any longing, emptiness, loss, or painful feelings. I found control over my emotions and feelings by looking in a new direction! You see, thoughts and feelings lead to emotions. These factors determine the direction of our actions. When you want to get somewhere, you look for and follow directions, right? Look...Follow...Go!

After months of feeling so "stuck", suddenly I was moving FORWARD, amen!

I gained control because I was finding and following new emotions and feelings, whew! What a relief! You can do it, too!

What started as emotional control blossomed into DISCIPLINE with my attitude, habits, time and other areas of life. Doing 100% of my part and leaving the rest to everyone else in covering THEIR part was positively LIBERATING! Get it? I found freedom!

I also took a look at self-control on the outside... as in how I presented myself outwardly in appearance and communication. This becomes real important on a job search! The manner in which we present ourselves personally, in speech, writing, and even internet dialog affects our appearance to the public as well as our own self-esteem. Ah, progress!

Although making forward progress, the rollercoaster of good days and bad days still took me for a ride until I began to consider two things:

INPUT AND INFLUENCE...            

Take Charge of Your Health!

Thanks so much for tuning in to my series, 5 Keys to getting Your Life in Perspective!  
Now we're going to address taking charge of your HEALTH!

During the past year I had to take control and get my health back! How did I do it?

It started when I LISTENED to what my doctor said, "Your serum cortisol level is through the roof! Expect to burn out and self destruct if something doesn't change." Well that's an attention getter! So if I self-destruct, what's left?
Where do you go from there?

You change something! The first thing I did was to examine my sources of stress and time. Operating my business helped people, I loved it, and it fed my family the most nutritious food in the city, yet it was leading to my demise and robbing me of precious family time.
So I brought in some help...

Then I made time to exercise regularly, sleep adequately, finish writing my cookbook and devotional, then relocated to Southern California to spend more time with my family...
But then came the unexpected...
I couldn't find a job! Yikes, I didn't sign up for that epic source of stress and depression! I felt useless, unworthy, and began to lose hope. Have you ever felt that way? Many events in life happen that we don't sign up for, however, the good news is that such episodes take us where we are today, into the future on a new path. Was it meant to be?
Where would I go from here? While I couldn't find a job, I decided, like years ago with the farm stand, I could CREATE a job that centered on my passion for health. This time it would be about optimal BRAIN HEALTH!

Then I found this program the Daniel Plan www.danielplan.com and volunteered by starting an online group. It was everything I had been teaching for years, all in one place with weekly lessons and helpful resources! And it's FREE! It was so simple...eat food in its most natural form, organic, exercise regularly, sleep enough, lose bad habits, and balance yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. I've been saying this for years...now I just hook people up here (you can start any time), volunteer, and save all that time! Treat your body like the custom high performance machine that it is because you only get one!
Well I knew what to do, but did not always take the time to do it...Is this you?

I had to make up my mind...and neurofeedback helped me to focus my time and energy. This training relieved an underlying anxiety that compelled me to work all the time, kept me up at night, and left my mind spinning out of control like a high speed blender! I learned to take control of my own thought life in order focus with clarity and make it through a day with peace of mind. I made it a priority and guess what? I feel better, look better, am stronger, and more productive! I'll probably live longer and better! Latest report is the doctor told me I couldn't have a heart attack if I tried!

Time is precious, you never know how long you have on this earth. This time last year I got hit by a truck! I didn't sign up for that either! Don't take ANYTHING for granted. Appreciate every bone and muscle in your body. Appreciate your mind and your abilities...take care of yourself and you will be better able to take care of others...

Now here lies the next key...we can CARE for others, but not CONTROL them!
"If it is to be...it's up to me" I was driving myself crazy trying to influence others, including my family members. When does that go too far? When it crosses over the line into control...
We are obliged to do 100% of our part, while allowing others do their part. I have so much energy that it's a full time job to control myself, let alone my children, friends, or husband! Simply gaining control of yourself is empowering stuff... What an improvement over that feeling of helplessness, don't you think?

How did I get control over my emotions and feelings?
It wasn't just one thing I needed to learn...stay tuned!

Part 2 of Getting Your Finances in Perspective

Thanks so much for tuning in to my series
                       Keys to getting Your Life in Perspective!

Now here's a rule that has made my life so much easier! It simplifies the finances...
The 80-10-10 Rule: I learned this one years ago. It's a wise to teach this to children as well!
80% of incoming dollars go to you
10% set aside for savings
10% to your church, a ministry of some sort that encourages you, or a favorite charity...in other words...give back to society. It's really an investment. When you bless, you will
be blessed! I want to be blessed:)
 
When money is tight, ask yourself, "Do I really NEED to buy that, or do I just WANT to?" Invest in things that will IMPROVE your life, hold off on extra items that don't really make a difference. Want to know another way you can make a difference? You can contribute to the economy by patronizing small local businesses. Keep in mind, in regards to the economy and product choices, we VOTE with our dollars. You can contribute to good will and/or the environment by supporting businesses in which you agree with or believe in their principles, such as "green" recycling, buying products made in the USA, free trade, supporting businesses that contribute a percentage of purchases to local schools, charities, etc. That always makes me feels better about parting with my hard-earned income! I've come to embrace anything non-destructive that makes me feel good these days!
 
"But I don't have a job or any income right now!" If no job, consider starting something simple and market yourself! Get busy, even if you volunteer, it will become a reference and offer valuable work experience. You may even feel better about "spending" your TIME wisely! Consider your job search as a full time job, scheduling time for it every day to include networking, resume writing, and establishing your profile on Linked In and career websites. You might even consider learning a new skill and starting over like I did!
 
One thing we cannot afford to neglect is OUR HEALTH. It is imperative to invest time and money in your personal health...because health affects your body, your mind, and your future. I seldom scrimp when it comes to my food, for it's about providing quality FUEL for my body to run efficiently and optimally!
 
Stay tuned for Key#3 as we look at some simple, practical ways to take charge of our health.
Believe it or not, the doctor told me my health was in jeopardy! I'll share with you how
I took control and got it back...
 
For more helpful information and a financial recovery plan, check out this website:
www.daveramsey.com

Getting Your Finances In Perspective

When there's more month than money...

Key #1 introduced the concept of taking control over TIME. We left off on trading time for dollars. With so many things competing for our attention, Key #2 lies in getting a healthy perspective on our FINANCES.

Have you ever felt like it was hard to control your money? Like there was a hole in your wallet? I did!

        And when finances are out of control, we have STRESS!

It's tough duty, but to relieve financial stress, it is imperative to consider and stick to a budget in regards to cash flow. While uncomfortable, we can gain control of our finances by holding ourselves accountable for balancing money in and money out. We do not have to let our finances control us, rather take control of our own finances...before some banker does it for us! Just as the case with time and our list, with the budget it helps to categorize items as urgent vs. important, taking care of the important things first. Often, if we are not careful, unimportant things will capture our attention and dollars! Ah, once again, we must use utmost wisdom and discretion.

Do you use the 80-10-10 Rule? I'll share this tool in my next post.

P.S. The 80-10-10 Rule is one I have used and it has made my life so much easier!

Getting Your Time Prioritized

"Where did all of my time go?"

Ah, time is precious, we must make it count!
Try making a list of the SIX MOST IMPORTANT THINGS you need to do each day. 
Make it a priority to get these six most important things done. Anything else is a bonus!

Consider what it is you want to accomplish (within reason, of course) each day. 
Beware of time stealers such as social drama, preventable emergencies (such as auto maintenance), internet surfing, and lack of preparation. Also be cognizant of what might be urgent vs. most important to accomplish for the day. Important things bring us closer to goals, whereas urgent things take us away from the task at hand! Once again, consider where you want or need to be or do by the end of the day and stay focused on your time and goals.
Take little projects or reading material along to maximize waiting time. Keep yourself accountable for time in your day...and you will begin to feel a sense of control and productivity over your time! It really helps to start each day by appreciating your time and any time during the past 24 hours that have been a blessing. Cherish these times☺


There is also a time for WORK.
When we work, we trade our time for dollars, yet another thing to consider when prioritizing
our list of six things to do each day. Even if/when unemployed and seeking work, we can choose to spend time doing volunteer work which translates into work or learning experience on a resume. Spend adequate time effectively marketing yourself when on a job search, these days one must consider a job search as a full time job! Don't be afraid to ask for help or attend networking groups.

But what do you do when you have "MORE MONTH THAN MONEY?"

We will take a look at FINANCES in the next part of this series, stay tuned...

Key #1: Take Control of Your TIME

In my last post, I promised to give you some stuff to think about...

We explored the things we cannot (or should not try to) control.
           Now ask yourself the following question, "What CAN I control?"

Keeping control of the things we DO have influence over are enough to remain busy! No wonder we get overwhelmed at times, when trying to extend our control...
Perhaps it's that we try to control things BEYOND our reach. It helps to focus on those WITHIN our reach to maintain a healthy perspective. Let us focus on SOLUTIONS rather than dwelling on SITUATIONS! For every COMPLAINT, create an idea to make it better, thus shifting focus to a more empowering mode. This, in itself, offers hope!

In this series, we will look at each of the Five Keys to Getting Your Life in Perspective, taking them through ideas, solutions, and hope. These "keys" will offer relief from feeling powerless, overwhelmed, desperate, lost, and/or "What the heck happened to my goals and dreams?" Keep in mind, there is a time and season for everything. A time for planning, a time for working, and time for a break! Another way to describe this is "seed time and harvest."

Now let's take a look at the KEYS, one at a time...

KEY #1 TIME...

Is this you?
"I don't have enough hours in the day..."
"Time flies but I don't!"
"Where did the time go?"
"I don't have time!"

Ah, but you DO have time...if you choose to MAKE time! We are all given 24 hours in a day.
How we spend those hours is up to us and can make the difference between time well
spent (or invested) vs. time lost. The law of sowing and reaping describes how we
must consider that which we plant, tend to our seeds, and we will, in due time, reap that which sow. Therefore, the first thing to consider would be WHAT we do with our time.

In the next issue we'll explore a strategy for prioritizing...

Keys To Getting Your Life In Perspective

Do you ever feel like your life is out of control?
Do you get overwhelmed or in over your head?
Do you sometimes just "lose it" or ask, "What happened?"

Often this results from trying too hard...trying to control things that are beyond our control or from not addressing issues that we really can take charge of!

Oh, the keys lie in wisdom and serenity. Remember the serenity prayer?

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Imagine a remote control...wouldn't it be nice if we had one for life? Not just for the TV, but one in which we could simply push buttons and have things go our way? Years ago, in a movie called Bedazzled, Brendan Fraser played such a character who sold his soul to the devil in return for seven wishes for anything to go his way. It didn't work out so well for him. Neither would it for us!

The point is, we all have our own "control" buttons...
Now imagine YOUR buttons. These would be buttons for what you HAVE control over...
You don't have buttons for the other things! Of course, modern science is always pushing the envelope with technology...LOL but it only goes so far!

Now let's take a look at our control buttons...

I sat down one day in utter frustration and began to outline the things in life I COULD control, also the things in life that I COULD NOT CONTROL! This outline provided a clear perspective of how I could get a grip on my overwhelmed little self!

My gift to you is this series on How to Get Your Life In Perspective!
I found that by taking charge of these  KEY THINGS in life,
I was empowered, unencumbered, and able to embrace life with a fresh, new perspective.
And I'm willing to share it with you!

First, let's take a brief (as in we won't dwell on it!) look at some of the things we CANNOT control:

*Other people
*The economy
*Family members
*Other people's business and businesses
*The weather and natural disasters...We can be prepared, but do not worry, obsess, or try to control!
*The government and leadership (We can serve, but not control!)
*What other people think
*What other people say about us
*Whether or not someone hires us or a family member (not everyone can get that job!)

Ok, now put that stuff on the shelf...
Let these things go and surrender them...
Cast your cares...and hold onto your hat,
Because in the next post I'm going to GIVE YOU some stuff to think about 

that will send the wind flying through your hair!

I Found an Answer!

I felt like a failure as a parent, but then I found the answer!

I would deploy my kids to timeout or their rooms when necessary, but they just didn't get it like the others! I brought them to church, we had rules, we were good parents, read all the books, took the parenting classes, but our kids did not respond like the others did. I was willing to invest time into anything that could help my family. I was looking for the answers for my kids. I wanted the results that Barb was telling me about (from my last email to you) how she and her kids experienced changes when using... NEUROFEEDBACK.


That was the ANSWER!


Listen to this:

After about 20 hours of such practice with neurofeedback, my daughter Cheyanne developed new patterns of thinking, reacting, and communicating. All just by watching and listening to movies and games on a feedback monitor.  She transformed from a frequent flyer in the principal's office and sitting out of class in the hall to an honor student in her freshman year. 

Her big brothers took notice and signed up for this training as well, especially because Cheyanne was taunting them with her success. Shortly afterward, the stressed out mom (that would be me) followed since apples don't fall too far from trees!

I'm happy to report that the four of us are off ADHD meds. 

Aside from an occasional bump in the road which normally occurs in life, we are able to focus and concentrate, maintain peace and stability in the home, sleep at night, and enjoy a sense of self control like never before!

Beginning with a healthy brainstorm, I found within me, the sought-after answers...what I could work on and what I could just let go each day in order to achieve a healthy balanced life.



I want others to know how to get this for FREE

Stay tuned for my upcoming series:
"KEYS TO GETTING YOUR LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE"


Becky Bassham
www.EdgeNeuroFitness.com

Where Do You Go From There?

My doctor told me I was ready to explode...or disintegrate or something...

So Where Do You Go from There?

I had to slow down because my job, while promoting health and nutrition, was causing my demise...and alienating our family!

"But where do I go from here?" I asked. Long story short, I sold my organic produce business to a family willing to run it (starting it was the hard part!), and moved back to Southern California to be closer to family and start a new project.

Once again, "Where do I go from here?" was the question when I could not find a job or figure out what to do with myself in this transition.

Always looking up to God when seeking answers, I looked, prayed, asked...but the answer did not come easy or quickly. He told me I had work to do...first it was on me. I did a lot of studying, a lot of thinking, and of course, a lot of prayer. The answer came to me when I looked up again...thinking about all of my work as a health educator; teaching folks about how nutrition, exercise and how lifestyle affects their health.

But often, they just didn't get it! Just like my kids didn't get it.

My daughter was at the age of 14 and preparing to enter high school after three years of behavior disintegration in middle school. We had to do something different or she would either be thrown out, beat up, or placed in a special needs classroom.

Obviously I needed help. My friend Barb, who I met years earlier in a parenting class, was doing some new work with a special type of training. She raised two adopted children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). She looked like an entirely different person when I saw her again...her demeanor was calm and helpful. She was unmoved by any and all chaos around her! (i.e. my children). She explained how she was going to help by giving me a picture of what my child's brain looked like from an electrical standpoint. It would give us an idea what was going on in the different lobes which all perform different functions such as thinking, this would be a simple test done by pasting EEG electrodes on the head and recording electrical activity in various locations of the brain which control things like behavior, memory, self-control, emotions, pain, learning, and motor skills. This was not just going to indicate whether these parts of the brain were on or off, but exactly what levels of activity were going on... Was that part of the brain asleep, daydreaming, relaxed and awake, thinking, or was it in fight or flight panic mode?

Wow! It worked. 

My daughter was transformed from a frequent flyer in the principal's office and sitting out of class in the hall to an honor student in her freshman year.

Why do I share this with you?
I felt like a failure as a parent but I found an answer... will share in the next post...
  

Becky Bassham
www.EdgeNeuroFitness.com

    

I Felt Like a Failure...

So I had to fix it!

A year ago today 

I started a new project...  

It all started after I graduated from college and got married. Ready to start my new would-be career, I got pregnant right away, then again and again, having three babies in four years, landing myself a new career as a stay at home mom. 

But my kids were different from other kids... I brought them to church, we had rules, we were good parents, read all the books,  took the parenting classes, yet our kids did not respond like the others did. I would deploy them to timeout or their rooms, but they just didn't get it like other kids! There was no peace in my home... 

I felt like a failure as a parent.

As a health educator, I put them through the rigors of wholesome, nontoxic nutrition. It still didn't help. As a radiologic technologist, I brought our oldest child to a trusted colleague for a functional MRI exam that proved his brain did not work in a normal fashion. Indeed, he had hyperactivity in a part of his brain that caused the behaviors.

Aha! So medication was in order. 

I also took the kids through special therapies to improve their sensory and perceptual motor abilities...to help them calm down and learn, because medicine did not do everything. However, after years of medication, hard work, creative parenting, underachievement, depressing teacher conferences, disappointment and pain...WE STILL HAD THE PROBLEM  and

I was worn out!

Have you ever asked yourself, "Where do I go from here?" Like when you are lost, overwhelmed, stuck, in a bad place, or just don't know what to do next because nothing is working for you? 

Maybe it's that stuff is working for you but you are working so hard it's killing you and the doctor says if you don't do something differently you're going to self-destruct? 

I was that person...

Becky Bassham

Edge NeuroFitness

P.S. In my next post, I'll share with you what my doctor told me. (Ouch!)